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Exotica erotica is rife in internet dating.
Plenty of women of colour will tell you that they’ve had close encounters with white guys just want to tick another competition off their intimate bucket list.
The majority of us sigh and move ahead.
But one black colored Irish blogger isn’t standing for it anymore.
Filomena Kaguako has written a open page to demand men stop fetishising her.
She joined dating site a lot of Fish to try and find ‘something serious’ – but has since been forced to delete the software after discovering that many of the dudes onto it just wished to see what it’s prefer to have sex having a black colored woman.
‘I will be in Ireland for 17 years and I’ve been searching for males whom don’t check me personally and simply begin to see the reality I’m black colored,’ Filomena says.
‘ I want them to check out me being a whole individual.
‘I’ve noticed that Irish men fetishise black women. I think the reason being in Ireland interracial relationships aren’t as common as other places.’
She claims that the main reason many males approach her is basically because sex by having a woman that is black seen as something brand new – unlike guys in places like London or ny.
‘It’s about being looked over ( as a black girl), as only a statistic or something to tick a bucket list’ off.
Therefore, Filomena has published a letter that is open her blog to your guys of Ireland:
There’s more to us than our color.
There’s more to us than our appearance.
There’s more to us than the body which you have unjustly exotified since you will not examine what we can provide you intellectually.
We have depth. We have character. We have value.
So please stop sexualising us.
Us you don’t make us feel beautiful when you sexualise. You don’t make us feel unique. You don’t make us feel unique. You make one feel as an object that you will eventually get bored stiff of and throw down after having derived maximum pleasure from us.
Stop sexualising us.
Because when you sexualise us you might be merely reminding us which you don’t actually see us. That you don’t see us for what or whom we’re. You see absolutely nothing more than a aspect that is physical of. The thing is a carnel desire and some body with who you intend to explore your insatiable black woman fetish.
Stop sexualising us.
Since when you sexualise us we can’t help but wonder just how much longer you’ll stick around after you get sick and tired of the pigment of our skin.
Stop sexualising us.
Because when you sexualise us you are damaging our character. Tearing up our heart. You are instilling an insecurity that we should be proud of in us about something.
Stop sexualising us.
Because when you sexualise us you’re telling us that people will never amount to any thing more than a checklist, a conquest, something.
It is degrading. It is diminishing. It’s devaluing.
Why would you continue steadily to sexualise us?
I am not just a commodity.
I will be not just a automobile for you to try out one day since you’ve arrived at the realisation which you’ve yet to use a black one.
We wasn’t taken to this globe to explore your curiosity that is sexual and do not occur to fulfil your intimate needs.
Dear Irishman, the the next time you set your green eyes on me personally, keep in mind this:
There’s more to me personally than my colour.
There’s more to me personally than my looks.
There’s more to me compared to human body that you have unjustly exotified as you will not examine the things I could offer you intellectually.
I have level. I have character. I’ve value, so please stop sexualising me personally.
Filomena states: ‘To me, commenting on my race just as if it is appropriate at all is devaluing and demoralising.
‘Over the previous few months, since I downloaded Plenty of Fish, Tinder and okay Cupid, I’ve been experiencing this sort of mindset.
‘Men will keep in touch with me and say they think I’m beautiful and sexy, but it’s always as a result of my race beard dating sites.
‘I’ve had it from a amount of people – maybe seven or eight out of 10 guys will discuss the very fact I’m black. It’s a really high number.’
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She says that she’s had ladies contacting her off the back of her post, saying that they’ve skilled the ditto.
‘This is not women that are just black – it’s Asian women too. It is not merely me personally experiencing this.
‘Because of my experiences with dating in the past, it’s coloured all of the interactions I’m likely to have with males as time goes on.’
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